You Exhaust Me
by FinessMcGayor
Summary: Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka go grocery shopping for the first time since they first met each other. Ahsoka soon learns her two masters are extremely unconventional in any domestic tasks they partake in.
1. Chapter 1

It starts with needing more food in the apartment. This is the first week Ahsoka has ever stayed with Master Kenobi and Skyguy, so she's still adjusting to the routine. She now realizes that Skyguy sometimes goes off without giving any notice, Master Kenobi is extremely attached to frequent meditation and drinks tea like it's from the fountain of youth, and they both aren't actually courageous, responsible, brilliant grown adults in private like they are in battle.

In fact, they're both kind of one big walking disaster put together, since Master Kenobi and Master Skywalker come in a set, like twins or something.

Ahsoka wakes before either of the two men for the first time ever and is granted the sight of Master Kenobi waking up on his sleep couch across the room. Before now, she'd only seen his hair perfectly groomed and his eyes perfectly alert.

He must shower usually while she's still asleep, because he looks tired and disheveled now as he staggers over to the kitchen—past where she's feigning sleep—to start making tea. It's a sight to remember for a long time of Obi-Wan Kenobi, a high general of the Grand Army of the Republic, the famed Negotiator, walking around like he's half dead in dark blue flannel pajamas.

She sits up again once he's disappeared into the refresher and hears the shower turn on before glancing over at her master. Ahsoka holds back a laugh when she sees Anakin buried under his blanket from the waist up but the rest of him uncovered. His head is off his pillow at the end of his sleep couch, so he's scooted down far enough to have his feet hanging off the other end. He has the same type of pajamas as Master Kenobi, but his are black. Same with Ahsoka, though hers are brown.

Ahsoka's head whips around when the shower shuts off not five minutes after it came on, and she decides to drop the façade of being asleep. Standing and stretching, Ahsoka begins to fold up her blanket just as Master Kenobi emerges from the refresher, completely dressed with his hair combed back into its normal place—though it's still taking some time to get used to not seeing him with armor on all the time.

"Good morning, padawan," he greets quietly as he walks over to the kitchen, taking the water off the stove before it makes noise now that it's boiled. Ahsoka puts her pillow on top of her blanket—which is folded so much it now resembles a cube—and greets him back. She puts her bedding in the storage closet and comes out to find Master Kenobi sipping his tea, looking much more awake than her first sight of him. "Did you sleep well?" He inquires as he noisily puts the kettle in the metal sink to wash later, causing Anakin to groan from across the room.

"I slept fine. Did you?"

"Quite well," the Soresu master answers as he casually strolls across the room—setting his tea down on the coffee table first—and daring to yank the blanket off of Anakin's body. "Get up," he practically barks at his former apprentice.

"Fuck you," Anakin mutters, curling himself up for warmth.

Ahsoka stares, unsure what to make of this. Anakin has always been up about the same time as her, no quarrel about rising. However, it is the last day of the week and the day normal people have off from work, so she supposes that's probably why.

"You really should come up with a better insult than that, Anakin. Surely you wouldn't want to wish something so pleasant when you're irritated with me." Obi-Wan grabs Anakin's pillow next and tosses it to the floor.

"Fine, I hope Master Windouche kicks you in the face. Leave me _alone_," he whines the last word when Obi-Wan grasps his forearm and hauls him upright. Anakin slumps over after flipping him off, shutting his eyes again.

"We have to buy groceries today. Now up with you."

"Can't you do it yourself?"

"I could, but you wouldn't get anything you want from the store if you didn't come."

Anakin groans loudly in exasperation, pulling himself to his feet and blinking his eyes open. He spots Ahsoka covering her mouth to keep her laughter in and glares at her, though the effect is lost considering what she just witnessed. "Shut up, Snips."

"I say we go have breakfast at Dexter's."

That makes Anakin instantly perk up and rush to the refresher—though he has to run back out and to his closet because he forgot to grab clothes.

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan end up waiting—with their stomachs growling—for twenty minutes while Anakin showers and dresses. It takes Ahsoka a few minutes to change into clothes, so she joins Master Kenobi in sitting on his sleep couch. Finally, Anakin steps out of the refresher with only his pants, socks, and his brown obi—which isn't an Obi-Wan, it's a long sleeved turtleneck undershirt.

The two Jedi exchange a glance when Anakin walks past them into his closet again, emerging with his black overtunic now on his body along with his synthetic leather tabard—which goes against the Jedi philosophy of simplicity, but Obi-Wan has long given up that argument. "Okay, breakfast at Dex's."

Ahsoka nearly smacks her hand to her forehead and sighs tiredly. "Master, boots."

"Huh?" Anakin glances down and sees he is indeed lacking boots. "Oh, right!"

"And your belt," Obi-Wan adds as Anakin hunts around the apartment for his boots.

"And your glove," Ahsoka reminds him. Once again, she's thankful she showers at night before bed, as Master Kenobi had suggested, because Anakin has yet to learn to take a quick shower and she'd need warm water.

Finally, _finally_, the Jedi knight is ready to go. So they hurry off to the hangar and through the districts to Dexter's diner.


	2. Chapter 2

**The rating has gone up because of the mentions of sexual-related things in this chapter. Poor Ahsoka. It must be hell, living with Anakin Skywalker.**

* * *

"What do we need at the store?" Obi-Wan asks as he pulls out his holopad. They'd just finished eating breakfast at Dexter's and were now finishing off milkshakes before vacating the table. The only reason Dex hadn't kicked them out yet is because Obi-Wan had left a nice tip and they're apparently friends, as he'd told Ahsoka.

"Doritos, milk, chocolate milk-" Anakin begins, but is cut off by his former master.

"Anakin, we do not need chocolate milk if we're getting regular milk."

"Fine, just get chocolate milk."

"No, we're buying regular milk. What else?"

Ahsoka thinks for a moment. "Oreos, goldfish, toothpaste, tampons-"

"Ew!" Anakin looks horrified.

Ahsoka turns her gaze to him. "What the kriff is your problem?"

Anakin points to his milkshake. "We're eating. I don't want to hear about that."

"And I suppose you think I want to hear about how you get drunk and whore yourself out before pissing in Master Kenobi's boots? Or how you're afraid you'll sit on your balls every time you sit down?"

"She has a point, Anakin. I hardly think mentioning a hygienic product is cause for your overreaction, considering the things she's already faced while putting up with you."

"Shut up, Obi-Wan," Anakin grumbles.

* * *

The three Jedi step into the supermarket, each holding a third of the list despite Obi-Wan insisting they will not, under any circumstances, split up.

Supposedly, it's because Skyguy likes to go spend his Jedi stipend on candy and toys. _My Master is a five year old,_ Ahsoka thinks as Obi-Wan tells her the tale while Anakin's face sours more and more with each passing minute.

"Okay!" Anakin interrupts, "I'm a bad person who spends money on frivolous things versus stuff we actually need. Can we get food now?"

They buy fruit first—some oranges, a few apples, a package of blueberries, and a package of strawberries. "I've never seen you eat fruit," Ahsoka says to Anakin as he grabs a bag of tubers.

"We ran out of oranges and strawberries before you moved in, and Obi-Wan, in a fit of rage, took his anger at me out on his own body by eating all the blueberries in the middle of the night."

"How? I just moved in last week."

"We only buy groceries every two weeks."

Ahsoka sighs in exasperation, taking out her holopad and doubling a few items so they'll last her two weeks. "Master Kenobi, why don't you buy groceries every week?"

"Because no manager of any store wants _him_," Obi-Wan jerks his thumb at an oblivious Anakin who has moved on to the bakery part of the store and staring at the cakes, "in their store every single week. We once tried to buy for three weeks, but that required too much food so now we buy for two weeks."

"Makes perfect sense," Ahsoka replies as she walks past Anakin. "Come on, Skyguy, let's go-" She breaks off when she spots the individual slices of red velvet cake just sitting there, looking lonely and sad because no one—and by no one Ahsoka means herself—is buying them to eat like an animal later. "Yum," she murmurs, just before Anakin nudges her and smirks. "What?"

"Oh nothing… just that you now understand how easy it is to get distracted. If we work together, Obi-Wan will cave from our whining and let us buy the good stuff."

"You're diabolical," Ahsoka whispers back, mulling it over. On one hand, she really loves desserts and junk food. On the other hand, she'll feel guilty for eternity if she aggravates Master Kenobi. He's such a nice guy and she likes him already, plus the fact that he chose _her_, out of hundreds of other younglings, to be trained by Anakin. However, there's the thought of stuffing her face with red velvet cake…

"I'm in."

They shake on it, and Obi-Wan's personal hell begins.

* * *

Anakin and Ahsoka silently dump three slices of cake each for red velvet, rainbow, chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry into the shopping cart, drawing Obi-Wan's attention.

"Put them back," he simply tells them before turning away to pick out three loaves of bread—two wheat and one white.

Exchanging a glance, the knight and padawan count to three before opening their mouths and loudly whining "please".

Obi-Wan slowly turns his head to face Anakin, glaring at him with the fire of a thousand suns in his now grey eyes—a sign of how upset he is. Master Kenobi's eyes change color to match his mood, a phenomenon only he could pull off without being mocked for it. Anakin told Ahsoka it isn't a trait of Stewjon natives, merely a unique part of Obi-Wan's body. Though he secretly thinks it's a genetic mutation while Obi-Wan just waves him off.

_Crap, he's caught on._ Ahsoka would have panicked, but Anakin twitches the corner of his mouth as the signal to stay calm and stick to the plan.

"Come on, Master, please?"

"Yeah, Master Kenobi, please?"

Obi-Wan pinches the bridge of his nose before sighing in defeat. "You each can get two slices and one type of cake."

Anakin and Ahsoka take the unwanted slices of cake back, hi-fiving each other on their return to Obi-Wan. The older man pretends not to notice.

* * *

Obi-Wan doesn't get his hopes up for a second that it will be the end of any more antics from the two younger Jedi. Not for one measly second.

And he's glad he didn't, because they pass by the toy area on the way to toiletries. Anakin races off with Ahsoka hot on his heels, people staring at them while Obi-Wan just sighs and wishes someone would shoot a blaster bolt through his head already. He doesn't bother to follow them either. He merely waits for them to come to him.

Anakin comes first, toting a crate of Legos, several packs of trading holocards, and a bounty hunter Barbie doll. Obi-Wan's first instinct is to slap it all out of Anakin's hands and then strangle him, but that is not the Jedi way. _Breathe in, gather all the thoughts of anger together. Breathe out, release the unpleasant thoughts and move on with your life._

Ahsoka comes next, with a different crate of Legos and a giant stuffed reek.

Taking time to formulate a calm and thought out response that leaves no loopholes and allows for no argument, Obi-Wan levels his gaze on the two people before him. They both are old enough to know better than this. Anakin is a grown adult, yet he still acts like a toddler. Ahsoka is a teenager with a keen mind, yet she chooses to follow Anakin's less than brilliant example. It's amazing to Obi-Wan what bad decisions people can make, it really is. "This is all you want?"

Anakin and Ahsoka nod eagerly, though Obi-Wan can tell in their eyes that they're suspicious.

"Put it back." Obi-Wan tries to continue walking, but Anakin tosses his stuff in the cart and crouches down, wrapping himself around Obi-Wan's leg. _Force, be my ally. _If it were a child, Obi-Wan would drag it along despite it being attached to his leg. But it's Anakin, and Obi-Wan cannot lug almost 200 pounds of his friend along on his leg—he can carry the man on his shoulders, sure, but legs are different. "Get off me this instant."

Anakin lifts his head and lets his lower lip wobble, crocodile tears gathering in his eyes. "But I want the toys, Master."

Obi-Wan nearly screams in frustration when Ahsoka latches herself to Obi-Wan's other leg, making a pouting face as well. "Please, Master Kenobi?"

He sighs and turns his gaze to Ahsoka. "You can get the reek as long as you do not ask for _anything_ else. Am I understood?"

The padawan happily nods and lets go of the Soresu master's leg, standing and grabbing her crate of Legos to put back. As soon as she's gone, Obi-Wan turns his eyes to Anakin.

They size each other up, waiting for their next moves, and Obi-Wan quickly unclips his lightsaber before hitting Anakin on the head with it. "Let go," he orders as he stamps the lightsaber down on the crown of Anakin's head again.

In defiance, Anakin's grip tightens on Obi-Wan's leg and he buries his face in the older man's thigh to avoid being smacked in the face with the metal hilt.

"Anakin Skywalker, you are far too old to be acting this way. Let go of my leg, put the toys back, and be an adult."

"Never," Anakin hisses and reaches his right hand up to grab Obi-Wan's wrist, halting the hand about to hit him with the lightsaber once more. He squeezes the man's wrist in his cybernetic hand like a vice, pressing his thumb along the inside of the wrist despite Obi-Wan struggling to free himself. Finally, Anakin finds the right pressure point and his former master unwillingly drops the lightsaber onto the tile floor of the supermarket.

"I hope Master Windu catches you the next time you pull a prank on him," Obi-Wan growls, narrowing his once again grey eyes at Anakin.

This triggers Anakin to voice a barrage of 'pleases' while Obi-Wan resists the ever-growing urge to violently strangle the younger man.

Ahsoka returns in time to see this display and rolls her eyes. _Skyguy sure isn't afraid to degrade himself to get what he wants. He'd make a great stripper._

"Get the bounty hunter doll and put everything else back," Obi-Wan grinds out through his teeth as he crosses his arms, a rather sour expression on his face for the foreseeable future—which isn't a long time considering what else might happen to change the future. It's definitely never set in stone for The Team.

Anakin leaps up in a split second, grabbing everything else and dashing off into the depths of the toy isles again. Ahsoka trots up to Master Kenobi and picks up his lightsaber, holding it out to him with one hand and patting his shoulder in sympathy with her other hand.

* * *

They walk to toiletries and Anakin is ordered to go straight to the shampoo and come right back. He's surprisingly cooperative now that he's gotten what he wants. Ahsoka grabs the hygiene products—shaving cream, a package of razors, toothpaste, tampons, and a new electric toothbrush for Anakin because he dropped his in the trash compactor last time he was drunk.

After that, it seems like Obi-Wan is home free. No more of his companions begging for things, no more distractions, no more-

_Blast!_ Obi-Wan grits his teeth when Anakin grabs several different candy bars at the register, and he's reminded of how he didn't make Anakin promise not to ask for anything else. He only made Ahsoka promise. Just to force the black-clothed man to shut up and not speak to him again until they're out of the store, Obi-Wan pretends he doesn't notice Anakin do this. Paying more credits for some candy is better than the alternative.

They make it back to the speeder without incident—they even manage to avoid having Anakin accidentally smash the bread or the chips, or even shake up the soda. Anakin takes the shopping cart back to the stall in the parking lot like a child would. He kicks along on the pavement with one foot before riding it the rest of the way into the stall, leaping off just before the cart roughly crashes into its brethren. Ahsoka gives him a thumbs up while Obi-Wan shakes his head and claims the driver's seat, not trusting Anakin to do anything else safe and right today.

All in all, it could have been worse in Ahsoka's opinion. She might be able to get used to participating in anything domestic her masters do in the future—provided she duct tapes pillows and bubble wrap to herself for protection.


End file.
